Well, it warmed my heart.
I mean, my heart was fully baked.
So thank you for that.
It's interesting though.
There were actually two types of responses I received.
There was the aforementioned and then there was another type.
I was sent a lot of messages from people reassuring me that I am indeed "cool".
Or concerned messages that perhaps my self-esteem was not doing well.
One person even offered a therapist's number. (FYI, I might take you up on that later! I'll let you know).
But what's interesting is that the whole point is that I've embraced whole-heartedly that I'm not cool.
See, it's just not something I strive to be.
My brother told me once in a "heated discussion" that I "came out of the womb just wanting to LOVE everybody and be loved".
I was born into a family that was probably not as snuggly cuddly teddy bear'ish as I was. Of course, I don't know if there could be such a family. It's A LOT to handle.
I dare to say that my family is WAY cooler than I am.
I had no way to live up to the individual and collective coolness of the three other individuals in my family.
The snuggly cuddly, over-eager factor alone already had me out for the count.
But that description from my brother stuck with me and about 5 years ago, I read a quote that my dear, sweet young friend, Elena Loper, gave me.
I had never related to anything more and I thought my heart might burst right there upon reading it:
"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." (Audrey Hepburn)
I couldn't believe that someone as graceful as Audrey Hepburn ever felt exactly as I have felt my entire life!!
How could someone so delicate and polite and fragile have THAT overwhelming need?
I was thrilled. I was not alone in this world.
There were others and I realized I would meet them along the way on my journey and I must say that I have and it has been such a snuggly cuddly joy.
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