"You look totally cool in those."
Now I KNOW not to trust this salesgirl.
I know she is lying.
She gave herself away.
See, I have never been cool a day in my life.
Sure, I may have seen shadows of "cool" in black & white photos when I have a bit of a tan and there's just the slightest blue hue to the pic.
Yes, there have been illusive flashes of cool.
But, no, this girl wants to sell the $200 jeans I have tried on in a weak moment and she doesn't care what I look like in them.
Then, as though she senses a weakness, she looks at me with an insincere, but really big smile and says, "You look REALLY skinny. I promise."
I peel off those jeans as fast as I can say, "Thank you so much for your help" and I'm out the door of the all too hip (and a little rich for my blood) boutique.
See, I'm not "skinny".
I've never been "skinny" and I don't want to be "skinny".
And anyone who tells me that I am "skinny" is lying.
I'm not cool either.
I've never been cool and I've never wanted to be cool.
Well maybe I did for a few fleeting moments, but those have passed along with the need for designer brands and the need to look like anyone else.
I am neither skinny nor cool and I am all the happier for it.
I am curvy and sweet -- and not curvy in that "starlet of the moment curvy way"--but truly curvy.
And I find it makes me unique in a place where you often really do hear people say, "You really can never be too rich or too thin."
Oh, I beg to differ.
You CAN be too rich and you CAN be too thin.
I have met victims of both and it is not pleasant, people.
So you can have your cool and skinny, on an ice cream cone, any old day.
I'll just be me --- a room temperature pastel meringue--and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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